I am a firm believer of “Children learn faster by observing than by listening to their parents”. If you are looking for a list of things that needs to be taught to your children or a number of ideas to work around I am very sorry to say that this is definitely not your cup of tea. Sometimes we young mothers tend to get carried away.. With domestic chores, work and being a mom can be really taxing especially when children learn faster and from a lot of people they meet on a day to day basis. Yes, it is important to introduce and explain lot of meaningful concepts/principles at a very young age but at the same time it is definitely not going to work out if you expect your children to follow them blindly when you don’t. Now don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember the mantra is “slowly-patiently-steadily’.
Children tend to observe what you live by and let it into their subconscious mind without even realizing it. I have done lot of mistakes while bringing up my baby girl. I have snapped and said few things very rudely (esp when I was working), i have used certain words without even realizing it. But it was my little sunshine helped me to change myself to be better mother.
Here are few things that I learnt from her. Treat them like you treat any person.. apologize when you do something wrong, accept when you have made a mistake and voice it out, say sorry when you are late, think twice before committing to anything, if you do commit try to keep up your word, be stern but not rude. Sometimes things you casually mention while chatting have greater impact rather than having a discussion. When your kid sees you being kind, polite, assertive, committed and truthful and honest, they will not need you to teach them any of this. Many a times a problem can be easily handled by just asking them for ideas. Since it is their idea it works 100% of the time. I once asked my daughter why she never listens to me when she is playing in her school play area and what I should do to make her listen (I had tried a zillion things and ended up asking her) she simply said I just have to say “freeze” and she would immediately come with me!!!!! And it worked just fine. 🙂
SOMETIMES THINGS ARE TOO SIMPLE BUT WE END UP COMPLICATING IT
If you think this blog is going to enlighten you on pregnancy symptoms or health tips, kindly ignore it. This is not some routine advice given for expecting young mothers; this is about the sudden behavioural change in people around you.
First few things you will notice are
- everybody will become a doctor
- You will get free advice (even from a stranger you meet in the bus!!)
- Right from your office security guard – to your – neighbour, you will be slapped with health tips.
Yeah I know people care for you especially when you are pregnant but it starts getting on your nerve when you actually have to undergo the tri-semesters with a zillion symptoms along with everybody nagging you like a Chihuahua. Every now and then you have to put on a “ I know, Your advice really helped, Thank you so much, that is really sweet” FACE where you will actually want to say PLEASE ENOUGH WITH THE FREE ADVICE, NOW SCRAM. No, you cannot actually say that because you actually know they really care. It is just that they don’t know when to stop it. Even if you yell at them, it is called the “pregnancy mood swings”. Now this is your little perk at being pregnant.. Use it wise 😉
You might have been invisible to your colleagues and your family members but now you are right on the spot. If you need a glass of fresh juice, want to photocopy a document, schedule a meeting in your floor just say it and consider it done. Everybody becomes extra-ordinarily benevolent at this time. You need not be relatives, you need not be great friends.. Even if he/she is a total stranger they are always ready to run an errand for you anytime. This might sound very odd but a total stranger would save you a seat in the bus, offers to carry your bag at a mart.. So the next time when someone advice all you need to do is
- Nod your head for everything
- But follow your own instinct
That way you will have your own list to suggest when you see an expecting mother 😉
I have often heard people complain about how they have plenty of time and have nothing to do. Either it is “I’m just spinning wheels” or “I’m so bored, I’m just sitting idle”. I was one among them until a year ago. But now all i wish for is to sit for ten minutes straight and i know it’s not possible for the next five or six years. With a toddler around, you have to be on constant vigilance.. either it will be the faucet running, raw vegetables sitting neatly on the sofa or the scattered documents on your living room. At times it goes to the extent of seeing your kid’s finger perfectly inside the socket. When you even think to resolve any of these you can sense the toys skittering down the pile on to your head. With every passing day, you get to experience innovative pranks which are actually endurance tests to mothers.
Though you live in a tensed up environment you have amazing little perks to brighten up the rest of your day. Little pat on your back from your son/daughter for doing things that they approve, a tight cuddle, and magnificent smile will make up for everything. But still you will need some time for yourself at the least to recharge yourself.
It will no more seem normal to see your friends going for a movie, having peaceful dinners without having to witness tantrums or even when they grab a cup of coffee. I tell myself it is too much to wish for 🙂 My routine awaits me as soon as my daughter wakes up. Next time when you complain about being idle think of the young mothers for whom everyday is quite a challenge, where there are no bosses to give an excuse and no rooms for mistakes.
If I could just sit idle for sometime….